I have already described how Sri Ramakrishna saw in a vision Rakhal dancing with Sri Krishna on a lotus shortly before Rakhal’s first visit to Dakshineswar. Only a few intimate disciples knew of this vision, and Sri Ramakrishna had warned them never to reveal it to Maharaj, explaining that if he realized his true nature as the eternal companion of Krishna, he would leave his mortal body. The secret had therefore been very carefully guarded.

In March 1922, Maharaj went to Calcutta to stay for a while at the home of Balaram. Balaram had already passed away, but his whole family were sincere devotees of Sri Ramakrishna, and his beautiful house was always at the disposal of the swamis of the Order. It is now regarded as a place of pilgrimage, sanctified as it was by the presence of so many holy men.

While Maharaj was staying at the house, Ramlal Dada came to visit him. Ramlal Dada was a pure soul and a devotee of a very high order. During Sri Ramakrishna’s lifetime, he had been one of the Master’s personal attendants and had served him with great devotion. Whenever he and Maharaj were together, their talk naturally turned to the early days. They would laugh and joke together, for they stimulated each other’s sense of fun. One day Maharaj asked Ramlal Dada to sing for him the songs he used to sing to Sri Ramakrishna. It was arranged that many disciples and devotees should be present to hear the singing.

Ramlal Dada began to sing songs about Krishna and the shepherds and shepherdesses of Brindavan. At first, everyone was merry as Ramlal mimicked the gestures of the shepherdesses, making his audience laugh. Suddenly, Maharaj, who had also been enjoying the fun, became serious. Ramlal Dada was singing: ‘Come back, O Krishna, come back to Brindavan. Come and reign in the hearts of your beloved shepherds and shepherdesses. Do not forget that you are shepherdesses. Do not forget that you are a shepherd yourself.’ At that moment Maharaj seemed transported to a realm beyond this earth. The joking and laughter stopped. The atmosphere became calm and serene. It may be that at this moment Maharaj got a partial glimpse of his true nature and know himself to be God’s eternal companion. The events that followed seem to point to some such revelation.

A few days later, at midnight, Nirvanananda, a disciple and personal attendant of Maharaj, saw him sitting on his bed in a very grave mood. The disciple stood silently before him, waiting for him to speak. Maharaj looked at him, and said: ‘I woke suddenly and saw Sri Ramakrishna standing just there.’ He pointed to a spot in front of a couch, adding: ‘He didn’t speak to me. He stood there silently for a while and then disappeared. I don’t understand it.’ After a few moments Maharaj continued in a low, earnest voice: ‘I can’t give my mind to the things of this world any longer. The mind wants to take complete refuge in Him and Him alone.’

Shortly after this, the birthday of Sri Ramakrishna was celebrated. Maharaj stayed at the Belur Math for the occasion; then he returned to Balaram’s house in Calcutta. Two days later he had a slight attack of cholera, but recovered within a week. This illness which left him feeble was followed by diabetes, which took a serious turn. Many doctors came to treat him, one of whom wore the religious mark on his forehead. Maharaj told him. ‘Doctor, Siva, whose symbol you wear on your forehead, is the only Reality. Every thing else is unreal.’

A devotee asked: ‘Maharaj, are you suffering very much?’
‘Please try to realize,’ Maharaj answered, ‘that in my condition I have to bear all physical suffering, patiently and without complaint.’

But as he said this, his face lighted up with a divine radiance. The pain seemed to have melted away. He lost external consciousness and became absorbed in meditation.

About nine o’clock that same evening, he placed his hand on Nirvanananda and said: ‘Do not grieve. You have served me well. You shall be merged in God and attain the knowledge of Brahman. I give you my blessing that you may attain this.’

Then he called all the disciples and devotees who were present to his side. For each he had a blessing and an affectionate word.

‘Ah, my children,’ he said tenderly, ‘never forget God and you will realize the highest good. Do not grieve. I shall be with you always.’

Once more he became absorbed in his transcendental vision. After some time had passed, he continued in a sweet, tender voice: ‘I am floating; I am floating on the leaf of faith and knowledge in the ocean of Brahman.’ Then suddenly he exclaimed; ‘Ah! The feet of Sri Ramakrishna – I know them! Viveka, my brother Vivekananda! Premananda…Yogananda…’

Thus, with his divine sight, he recognized the brother-disciples who had already passed away. He was living in that transcendental realm where he had lived throughout his life; but now he no longer concealed the fact. He began to describe his visions.

‘Ah,’ he murmured softly, ‘the blissful ocean of Brahman! Om!
Salutations to the Supreme Brahman! Om! Salutations to the Supreme Atman!’

While speaking of his divine experiences, his throat became dry. A disciple offered him a drink, saying: ‘Maharaj, please drink this water. It has lemon in it.’

‘The mind doesn’t want to come down from Brahman, Pour Brahman into Brahman,’ said Maharaj slowly and like a child he opened his mouth for the water to be poured into it.

Then he turned to Swami Saradananda and said: ‘Brother, Sri Ramakrishna is real His divine incarnation is real.’

After this Maharaj was silent for a while. He was deeply absorbed in meditation, and his face wore an expression of great sweetness. The minds of those who were present were so uplifted that they felt no grief, only joy and silent calm. All sense of the world and of death was lost.

Suddenly, out of the silence, the voice of Maharaj was heard: ‘Ah, that inexpressible light! Ramakrishna, the Krishna of my Ramakrishna…I am the shepherd boy. Put anklets on my feet, I want to dance with my Krishna. I want to hold his hand – the little boy Krishna…Ah, Krishna, my Krishna, you have come! Krishna….Krishna… Can’t you see him? Haven’t you eyes to see? Oh, how beautiful! My Krishna… on the lotus…eternal…the Sweet One! My play is over now. Look! The child Krishna is caressing me. He is calling me to come away with Him! I am coming….’ The tenderness and heavenly compassion that filled his heart were expressed in every word he uttered.

The whole atmosphere of the large hall where he was lying seemed to vibrate with this emotion. No one can describe the extraordinary sense of holiness which was created by his presence. Everyone knew that the fateful hour was approaching, and that Maharaj was taking his final leave.

During the early hours of the morning, he remained silent for some time and fell into a slumber. At seven o’clock he awoke, and was again possessed by this high spiritual mood. He called the few disciples who had just arrived and who had not been present the previous night. To each he gave his blessing, bestowing comfort and fearlessness.

Two more days passed, and another night came on. By this time his life was despaired of, and gloom fell upon all. His physical condition grew worse and worse, and the doctors were amazed that he had not passed into a coma days before, as is usual with this kind of illness. But so great was the power of his mind, so completely was it freed from the meshes of physical matter, that it remained completely unaffected by the condition of his suffering body. He maintained perfect consciousness right up to the last moment of his life.

As that last evening faded into night, his chest suddenly heaved. It was as if a great wave of breath passed up the body to the throat. His half-closed eyes opened, and he gazed into the distance, his eyes shining with brilliance and unspeakable beauty.

Thus it was that, on April 10, 1922, the life left his body.

‘Do, not grieve. I shall be with you always.’ Those were his last words to his disciples. After his passing away, we all had the feeling that Maharaj was intensely present within us. He was closer to us than ever before. For as long as Maharaj was in the physical body there was a barrier which was now no more.

More than forty years have passed since that day, and every disciple can bear witness to the fact that Maharaj still lives, protects and guides him onward toward the goal.

When I was about to leave India and take up my duties in the United States, Swami Shivananda said to me: ‘Never forget that you have seen the Son of God. You have seen God.’